Sometimes we need to change. Other times we need to go back to what works. A friend of mine asked me this morning how the cleanse was going. I told her not well. Although there have been positive changes, I simply have not been able to achieve my goals. So I’m going to pare it down, start over and go back to what I know works for me: juice, smoothies, keifer, raw food soups, avocados, some fermented veggies and limited nuts and seeds.

From today until Memorial Day weekend. 33 days. Not 77. This feels more manageable.

I feel like I am waking up from a drug-induced coma. I’ve been depressed. My ex-boyfriend’s birthday was on Saturday. The date has been looming over me for more than a week in a dreadful way. I’ve been sad and unable to sleep. I feel relieved that this one-year marker since our breakup is over and hoping that in this second year I will be able to learn how to let go and really heal my heart. I am hoping sooner rather than later.

And so I start yet again. What else is there to do?

Arul Goldman is the Founder and Director of SanaVita.