I was still pretty raw by the time I got home yesterday — earlier than usual — to spend the entire evening with my kids. I’ve been working late and only make it home for dinner every other night or so and often we have play dates or see Grandpa for dinner. So last night, it was just the 3 of us. And it was lovely. I made them dinner, we ate and listened to music, played Super Mario brothers and board games, read a book and snuggled in bed.
But the need for grounding and comfort was strong. And I was ravenous. I was definitely hungry for food as I had exercised like an animal all day on very little sleep, but I was also hungry to fill the sadness that I had been dealing with. So I ate more than I have eaten in nearly 20 days. I kept it within the parameters of what I have been eating — seaweed, avocado, sprouted nuts, coconut butter, etc. — and it wasn’t a ridiculous amount, but more than what my stomach and system are used to at this point. I felt heavy by the time I wrapped it up. And before I ended the evening I ate some raw dark chocolate. I knew I was asking for trouble because of my sleep issues. I was already in the red zone after only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before, so I made an executive decision and took a Xanax at 8:30 after the kids were sleeping. I crawled into bed and was sleeping within 30 minutes.
And I finally did get a good night’s sleep. Nine hours, basically straight. And although I am feeling a little extra heavy this morning, I am ready to climb back up on my horse and continue on. I had a little setback, and I share this with you because it is important to know. Life is unpredictable and challenging and will throw us curve balls. Had I been fasting on just juice and had the same setback, the repercussions would have been harder to overcome. The digestive system would have been completely shut down and that could be seriously problematic.
The biggest issue here is my ego and my desire to beat myself up over it and then self-sabotage and combust, totally falling off the wagon. The power and opportunity here is to accept where I am at, how I have handled things, which in my opinion is pretty stellar (all things considered), stand up, wipe myself off and keep going.
I just finished preparing my kale/avocado super smoothie for later today and am sipping on my fresh watermelon juice now. I’ll have a colonic today and my second session with Gabriel Hoffman in Biofeedback. I’m really looking forward to further processing my experience and checking up on my status to see where I’m at with my homeopathic regime.
I’ll fill you in later!
Arul Goldman is the Founder and Director of SanaVita.